So I did what Rayya has taught me to do: I just started there. Since that's where you're gonna end up anyway, you might as well just start there.' When everything else in the room has blown up or dissolved away, the only thing left standing will always be the truth. Here is her mantra on truth, which I've heard her express so many times over the years, in so many difficult situations: She is the most brave and honest person I know, and she has taught me more about courage and honesty than anyone I have ever met. Now let me tell you something I've learned from Rayya, over the fifteen years of our friendship. So that truth, once it came to my heart's attention, could not be ignored.īut what to do with this potentially life-shattering truth? Here is the thing about truth: Once you see it, you cannot un-see it. The thought of someday sitting in a hospital room with her, holding her hand and watching her slide away, without ever having let her (or myself!) know the extent of my true feelings for her.well, that thought was unthinkable. And I have no more time for denying that truth. Death - or the prospect of death - has a way of clearing away everything that is not real, and in that space of stark and utter realness, I was faced with this truth: I do not merely love Rayya I am in love with Rayya. As Ann Patchett said once of our friendship: 'Your love for Rayya has always been writ large.'īut something happened to my heart and mind in the days and weeks following Rayya's diagnosis. Anyone who has ever seen us together knows that I am devoted to Rayya.

I have spoken about her so many times on this page, and many of you have heard me speak about her in my speeches, too (such as my 'Hummingbird' speech, where I sang her praises with all the love I could muster.) Some of you have even come to see the two of us speaking together on stage, over the years. She's my role model, my traveling companion, my most reliable source of light, my fortitude, my most trusted confidante. She's my best friend, yes, but it's always been bigger than that. Many of you already know who Rayya Elias is to me. I cancelled everything in my life that could be cancelled, and I went straight to her side, where I have been ever since.

From that moment forward, everything became about HER. In the moment I first learned of Rayya's diagnosis, a trap door opened at the bottom of my heart (a trap door I didn't even know was there) and my entire existence fell straight through that door. My best friend Rayya Elias was diagnosed with pancreatic and liver cancer - a disease for which there is no cure. This spring, I received news that would change my life forever. There is something I wish to tell you today - something which I hope and trust you will receive with grace.

Elizabeth gilbert jose nunes